Fox (Dog’s point of view)

February 21, 2007 at 2:07 am (Uncategorized)

I was running in hot ashes through the charred forest. I found a bird and had her in my mouth. I held her quite gently. I took her to my shady cave above the river; I put her down and tried to mend her burnt wing. But she didn’t want my help.

“I will never again be able to fly.” She said to me.

“I know,” I didn’t say anything for a bit but then I told her, “I am blind in one eye, but life is still good.”

“An eye is nothing!” she said, angrily “How would you feel if you couldn’t run?” I didn’t answer. Magpie dragged her body away from me into the shadows of my den. It felt like she was melting into the blackness. Days, maybe a week later, magpie woke with a look of grief on her face. I was waiting for her. I tried to persuade her into going with me to the riverbank.

“Hop on my back” I told her “Look into the water and tell me what you see.”

She sighed, but she looked into the water. In the reflection of the water we saw the clouds and skies and trees, and something else.

“I see a strange new creature!” she said oddly.

“That is us,” I told her with sarcasm, “Now hold on tight!” Magpie was clinging to my back, which kind of hurt but I didn’t mind. I raced through the scrubs and I zoomed past the stringy barks, past the clumps of yellow box trees, and into blueness. I ran so swiftly that it felt like I was flying. Magpie felt the wind streaming through her feathers, I look at her face and she is rejoicing. Then she says excitingly “FLY DOG, FLY!!! I will be your missing eye, and you will be my wings.” And so I run, with Magpie on my back, every day, through the hot, and through the freezing cold winter.

 

After the rains, when saplings are springing up everywhere, Magpie began to tremble for some reason. Then I see a Fox.

“Welcome,” I say to him, “We can offer you food and shelter.” But Magpie looked scared but I wasn’t worried.

“Thank you,” says Fox. “I saw you running this morning. You looked extraordinary.” I was happy with our new friend but Magpie seemed to shrink away. I saw Fox staring at Magpies burnt wing.

 

In the evenings, when the air is creamy with blossom, Magpie and I relaxed at the mouth of my cave, I was enjoying her company. Now and again Fox would join the conversation, but the whole time Fox was watching her. Magpie was warning me about Fox.

She said “He belongs nowhere, he loves no one.” I was thinking why is she being like this.

“He’s alright. Let him be.”

 

When I woke up Magpie and Fox was gone. I went to the river and found Fox drinking. I asked, “Where is Magpie?” Fox didn’t reply. I attempted again, “WHERE IS MAGPIE?!?!” He stopped drinking and said to me with hatred in his eyes

“Now you know what it’s really like to be alone. She is somewhere in the desert. That’s all I will tell you.” He turned around and walked off. I ran as fast as I could until I got to the desert. For a minute or two I walked slowly while looking around to see I  could find her but there was no hope. It was a lot harder because I only have one eye. I was about to turn around and head back but then I saw this little black figure walking towards me. I ran to the figure as fast as I could and it was Magpie! I put her on my back and tld me about it on the way home. I was so happy to see her.

THE END!!!

2 Comments

  1. mrbartlett said,

    This is great JJ, well done! You write very well and should be happy with the result. There are a couple of typos though and you switch tenses a couple of times.

    Switching tenses happens when you’re writing in the past tense (eg. ‘He ran off with the ball) and you suddenly start using the present tense (eg. ‘He runs off with the ball.’) It’s easy to do and not spot, I do it myself sometimes.

  2. mrbartlett said,

    16/20 (sorry, meant to leave this mark on the other comment!) I’ve taken a few points off for the mistakes above, but this is a great effort JJ.

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